I watch you

trying to understand

that a poor woman can be intelligent

and still have a small income.

I watch you

trying to understand

how a good person is never rewarded

but keeps trying anyway.

I watch you

trying to get those interested in you

to also be interested in your interests

or else you don’t let them in

You think I’m trying to destroy your boundaries

just because I’m trying to get to know you

and I look like the opposite of you

You with the normal family

who grew up in a supportive environment

you fail to understand

that I am not a bad person because I had the opposite,

a broken home with no money

but I’m still a good person

with possibly a bit more depth than you have

and I understand how you think

As I’m always coming across it,

from people who want me to stay put.

When we laugh together

it feels so good,

when we are around each other

magic seems to happen

yet somehow its not enough for you

to jump

to try someone new,

to choose something wonderful.

It turned dark when you weren’t here

It turned dark when you neglected me

It turned dark with silence

and I’m fighting my way through it

so I don’t become dark with it.

The problem always was her,

shes here next to you all the time,

there is no space for me

there is no space for something new to grow between us.

I knew something was up but no idea what,

but you never communicated to me directly.

I wonder do you expect me just to put up with it all,

this toxic silent of feelings unexpressed

While your needs and wants are met

but mine are left dangling,

over the edge with a drop of a few thousand feet,

You haven’t told her and I know that

And I can’t break her heart

but you won’t either.